Archive for the “Emotions” Category

Tuesday, October 9, 2012 Categorized under Emotions

Emotions, Intentions, and Implications of Knowing I Dream in the Moment

Emotions, Intentions, and Implications of

Knowing I Dream in the Moment

Workshop for the 2012

International Association for the Study of Dreams PsiberDreaming Conference

© Beverly (Kedzierski Heart) D’Urso, Ph.D


I have learned through my involvement in Lucid Dreaming/Lucid Living [1], as well as through my spiritual school and seminary [2], that becoming lucid, or knowing I dream while I dream, allows me to expand into the dreamer of the dream in the same way that self-realization allows masters to expand into Beingness. In other words, expanding into the dreamer in the sleeping dream state serves as a microcosm of expanding into Beingness in the waking state.

When I get lucid, I can draw from the powers, also called aspects of essence, of my expanded self that exist beyond my sleeping-dream-self or even my waking-personality-self. These powers allow me to, for example, experience unusual magic in my sleeping state or amazing strength in my waking state.

I view the implications of lucidity, a way of understanding self-realization, as more valuable than the adventures I had when I first began having lucid dreams, or at least more important to this period of my life. The implications of lucidity, such as knowing that I exist as more than just my body, help me better understand how I define myself, my potential, and my world.

To understand what I mean by implications, it helps to have had a lucid dream. In order to become lucid, I regularly question whether I might be dreaming in the present moment. I do this in my sleeping state or my waking state because I view any state as a dream if I experience a body and/or an environment [3]. I also sense, look, and listen for clues, such as unusual situations in my environment and my body.

Two of my favorite ways to become lucid involve: (1) fully experiencing my strong, difficult emotions, such as the fear of facing the scary witches of my recurring childhood nightmare [4], and (2) clearly knowing my heart-felt intentions, such as my deep desire to get married, raise a child, and experience connection. Note that my heart-felt intentions seem to get realized not by control, but merely by my expansion into Beingness, or what I call the Dreamer of life, when I do not resist the process.

In this workshop, you will come up with ways that you block your emotions and intentions, as well as discover your own implications of knowing that you dream in the moment. I have created an exercise that requires spontaneous answers to specific questions. I modeled this exercise after the exercises of the Diamond Approach spiritual path [5]. In the Appendix, I’ll give some sample answers to the exercise questions. You may want to try the exercise both before and after you read the sample answers.

The exercise works best when done with a partner. You can pick someone from this conference as a partner and set up a Skype session or phone call. This will help both of you get to know each other better, as well. Alternatively, you can choose a friend or family member as a partner. You might both benefit from recording the exercise.

If you do not want to work with a partner, you will have to both ask and answer the questions yourself. You can speak them into an audio recorder, write them down on paper, or type them up.

The exercise attempts to access your subconscious ideas and beliefs, so try to respond as spontaneously as possible. Do not spend time ‘thinking.’ Just say whatever comes to mind. With a partner, the exercises should take about half an hour, or if you work alone, about fifteen minutes.

I will present a series of three questions. Each partner will take a total of five minutes to answer the question over and over again during his or her turn. This amounts to ten minutes per question or thirty minutes for the entire exercise. A timer helps, or at least a clock.

The exercise works like this:

Partner A asks partner B the question, exactly as it appears, for B’s turn at answering. B responds with a quick answer of a few words or a few sentences for approximately ten or twenty seconds.

After B answers, A says “Thank you,” and asks the same question again. B responds with a new answer to the same question, and A says “Thank you” again.

If B says nothing after about twenty seconds, A merely says “Thank you,” and then asks the same question again. Use common sense for the timing, and let the exercise flow in a natural manner. A must not say anything but the question, exactly as it appears, and “Thank you” during B’s turn.

This process of A always asking the same question over and over again, and B always answering, goes on for five minutes.

Then, the partners switch, where B asks and A answers, in the same manner as above, again for five minutes.

After both partners work with the first question, they move on to the second question for five minutes each. Finally, they both work with the third question.

Questions:

While in the waking state or the sleeping dream state:

1.) Tell me a way you avoid experiencing your feelings.

2.) Tell me how you get in the way of fulfilling your intentions.

3.) What does it say about you and reality when you know you are dreaming?

In conclusion, you can become lucid by fully experiencing your difficult emotions, especially the strong ones that occur often. Remaining conscious of your heart-felt intentions in the moment can help them come true through the power of your expanded self. Finally, the implications of knowing you dream in the moment, or becoming lucid, can assist you in better understanding how you define yourself, your potential, and your world.

After you complete the exercise and reflect upon your results, post your comments and answers to share with others if you wish.

Appendix:

Sample answers:

While in the waking state or the sleeping dream state:

Question 1: Tell me a way you avoid experiencing your feelings.

I don’t stay in the present moment.

I justify them.

I discharge them, for example by yelling.

I see myself as too mature to have them.

I numb myself with too much food, etc.

I wake myself up.

Question 2: Tell me how you get in the way of fulfilling your intentions.

I don’t believe I can fulfill them.

I think I must do so in a certain way.

I focus on something going wrong.

I get caught up in activities.

I don’t make my intentions clear.

I think that I don’t have enough time.

Question 3: What does it say about you and reality when you know you are dreaming?

I can take risks.

I don’t need to struggle nor worry.

I view all that I experience as part of my expanded self.

I see unlimited possibilities.

I know that I exist as more than just the body that I currently experience.

I recognize a different reality in which I sleep.

References

[1]             Lucid Dreaming-Lucid Living: Papers and Work of Beverly D’Urso.

http://wedreamnow.info/

[2]             The Ridhwan Foundation. The nonprofit spiritual organization established to support and preserve the integrity of the Diamond Approach teaching.

http://www.ridhwan.org/

[3]             Could You Be Dreaming Now? D’Urso. D’Urso, Beverly (Kedzierski Heart).

Workshop Presented at the IASD PsiberDreaming Conference, September 2011.

http://wedreamnow.info/?p=294

[4]             Lucidity and Self-Realization through Emotional Surrender. D’Urso, Beverly (Kedzierski Heart). Paper Presented at the IASD 29th Annual Dream Conference, Berkeley, CA., June 2012.

http://wedreamnow.info/?p=384

[5]             The Unfolding Now: Realizing Your True Nature through the Practice of Presence. Almaas, A.H., Shambhala, June 2008.

http://ahalmaas.com/Books/unfolding_now.html

Thursday, September 13, 2012 Categorized under Basic, Emotions

Lucidity and Self-Realization through Emotional Surrender

Lucidity and Self-Realization through

Emotional Surrender

Beverly (Kedzierski Heart) D’Urso, Ph.D.

Presentation at the International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD) Conference, Berkeley, CA, June 2012.

Copyright 2012

When we fail to internally experience a strong emotion in our bodies completely, life seems to give us more opportunities to do so in both our waking life and in our sleeping dreams.

We experience new dramas or dreams, sometimes with different characters and environments, but similar emotions. If we pay attention, we can notice patterns of such recurring emotional dramas or dreams.

I will give personal examples of dealing with such emotional dramas and dreams, and compare my lucidity work to a contemporary, psycho-spiritual teaching of self-realization.

As a child, I learned to become aware of such patterns in the form of recurring dream nightmares. When I found myself in a similar dream drama, I recognized it as part of the pattern.

I fully faced my fear, my dream nightmares ceased, and I became ‘lucid’ in a dream for the first time. I connected to the dreamer of the dream in a way similar to how spiritual teachings describe connecting to our true self, sometimes called the creator of life.

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Decades later, I discovered what likely caused my recurring nightmares. I will briefly describe the initial incident and the recurring dream. Even if you’ve heard my dream before, listen carefully to the details.

I have a relatively clear memory at eighteen months old. My father always left for work in the early morning. He’d come in my room and kiss me goodbye. One morning, I decided to hide from him. Because of this, or more likely because he was running late, he left the house without kissing me goodbye.

I remember feeling extremely upset, probably believing it was my fault. Viewing the kiss as extremely important, I ran out of my room and through the house to the front door.

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My father had not locked it, so I pulled it open and continued to run. I did not know about steps yet, and therefore ran right over eight stairs, and crashed, landing on my back on the cement at the bottom.

This memory ends here. In actuality, someone took me to the nearest hospital and discovered that I had broken my collarbone.  I had to remain in the hospital, and at that time, parents were not allowed to stay overnight in the hospital with their child.

In my second memory, my parents are waving goodbye at the hospital room door. I am standing alone in a crib, crying intensely. I sense that nurses are hovering over me. One gives me a saltine cracker. I can still clearly see how the cracker in my hand is getting soaked and mushy from my tears.

I can’t say that I definitively remember my dreams for the next few years, but by about the age of five, it seemed like I had had my recurring nightmare forever. It goes like this:

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I’d find myself in my bedroom, and without notice, gruesome witches would sneak out of my closet and come after me.  I’d scream and run through the house, making it to the back door.

I’d fall down the back stairs, landing on the cement at the bottom, spread eagle on my back. Just as the witches seemed about to devour me, I’d wake up.

After years of this same recurring dream, I’d find myself pleading, as I lay on the cement with the witches hovering over me, “Please, spare me tonight.  You can have me in tomorrow’s night’s dream!”  At that point, I’d wake up.  However, the dream was still very upsetting, and I always hated going to sleep.
One hot, sticky summer night, at the age of seven, I felt especially afraid of going to sleep. Still being awake in the middle of the night, I grabbed an old, dark pink, American Indian blanket, put it on the floor of the living room, and fell asleep.

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In the same recurring dream, I found myself back in my bedroom and noticed the closet door creaking open.  I knew at once the witches were coming for me, and I ran for my life.  I barely made it through the kitchen, fell down the back stairs, and landed on the cement.

The horrifying witches caught up with me, but the instant before I started to plead with them, the thought flashed through my mind, “If I ask them to take me in tomorrow night’s dream, then I must be dreaming now!”

I looked the witches straight in the eye and said, “What do you want?”  They gave me a disgusting look and I continued, “Take me now.  Let’s get this over with!”

Keep in mind that they still appeared just as scary, and I did not know what would happen. I watched with amazement, as they quickly disappeared into the night.  I woke up feeling elated.  I knew they were gone.  I never dreamed about witches this way again.

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It pays to note that some lucid dreamers may have first turned the witches into less scary beings before dealing with them, destroyed them, or merely escaped from them.

I believe that my choice of surrendering to my fear, controlling only my reaction, and leaving the witches to do what they pleased, served as an excellent choice for my first lucid dream.

I not only ended my witch nightmares, but eventually I learned to deal with the witches again by bringing them back into my lucid dreams because they became my creative power.

At least as important, this experience taught me that I could know that I was dreaming while dreaming, and I continued to do so my entire life. I did not actually know the term lucid dreaming until my twenties, when I met Stephen LaBerge, and did research with him at Stanford for decades on this topic.

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Now, let us come back to the present day. I have been studying a psycho-spiritual teaching for several years, and recently joined their seminary. This teaching describes a process called the theory of holes.

The theory of holes explains how earlier in life, when we could not completely handle an emotion, we would develop a related psychological hole. We try to fill the hole with external obsessions, such as taking drugs, overeating, or having superficial relationships.

We don’t allow room for ‘aspects of our true essence,’ such as love, peace, or compassion to arise. We get many chances to face up to the emotion in new recurring dramas in our waking life or, as I am introducing today, in our dreams.

When we finally do so, and completely experience our empty hole, aspects of essence finally arise to fill it. In a sense, we replace emotions of our personality with experiences of our true, realized self.

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So, in my case, when I could not handle the extreme emotions that arose when I got left in the hospital and had to separate from my parents, at eighteen months, a hole got created. I may have temporarily filled this hole with external comforts, such as always needing to have my parents near me.

Nonetheless, when I faced the witches at age seven, I experienced the hole, or the psychological emptiness, which likely resulted from my painful experience at eighteen months of age. By doing so, I gained the powers that people often experience when they become lucid in a dream. I believe that these powers, such as strength, will, and joy, match the aspects of essence from the theory of holes.

As an adult, I finally recognized the amazing similarities between my early waking state experience and my resulting sleep state nightmares, even though the characters and set of the scene changed slightly.

For example, in my recurring nightmare, I ran from the witches instead of towards my father. The witches likely played the part of the nurses, who I originally saw as the bad guys. I ran to the back stairs instead of the front stairs, as I did at eighteen months old.

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Still, the emotion remained the same, as did the main plot of both scenarios. I had many chances, to face my fear as the dream got repeated for years.

So, now I will jump ahead to the mid 1980’s, when, though a series of experiences, I decided to view waking life as a type of dream. As in my sleep state, I live in this waking dream with various levels of lucidity, or consciousness. I call this lucid living and have presented on this topic for over twenty-five years.

In this waking dream, or what gets called life, dramas also get created as they do in the sleep state. They seem to repeat until I completely face the difficult emotion from when the drama originated. I believe that I really connect to my spiritual teachings because they seem to say what I have been describing for years.

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I will now explain some other repeating situations in my waking dream. For example, in many romantic relationships during arguments, my partner would seem to hover over me and look very scary, similar to the hovering witches of my childhood. One time, while this was happening, I asked myself, “What if I am dreaming right now?”

Instead of arguing back, I saw my partner as an aspect of my realized self, the Dreamer of life. I began to listen more, felt less afraid, and surrendered to the experience. My partner then did exactly what the witches did when I became lucid in my sleep state dream. He just disappeared out of my life.

For another example, as a child in the waking state, my best friend moved away, but the emotion of getting abandoned, or left behind, remained. I imagine that this experience, and others from a younger age, affected the way I often felt during romantic breakups. Breakup experiences kept repeating in my waking life.

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I also noticed how my non-lucid dreams recreated romantic breakups. Sometimes the dream character looked just like my partner in my waking state. However, sometimes character reminded me of someone else.

The scene may also have seemed different, but the emotion remained the same. Once I really let myself internally feel the emotion of abandonment in my body completely, romantic breakups ended, and I met my husband of twenty years.

I have often stated that the night I met my husband I became the most lucid of all. Earlier that evening, I actually told a friend that I was giving up trying to meet a partner. I surrendered to my current situation as a single woman completely. Instead of acting needy or incomplete, I experienced the peace and joy of my true self.

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However, without even thinking, I went up to a guy I saw from across the room, and did not focus on fears or plans. I remained extremely present and in the moment. I felt unlimited potential.

We stayed together from that night onward. Although we do have disagreements, I must say that he has never hovered over me in anger, as did my previous partners and my scary childhood witches.

Nonetheless, early on in our marriage, I used to get disappointed at my husband when he acted the way my father acted early on in my life. I did not actually see my husband at these times. I internally replaced him with an image of my father and over reacted.

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Once I faced the disappointment I had for my father at an age when I seemed helpless, my disappointment toward my husband dissipated. In a sense, I may have tried to fill a hole with my husband’s affection. However, I could only stop my disappointment toward him, when I surrendered to the deeper feelings of the original disappointment, and allowed kindness and compassion of my true self to enter.

To work with sleeping dreams or waking dramas in this way, I first look for recurring emotional themes. As I have shown, they can come from sleep state dreams or from the waking state. I don’t necessarily need to get lucid, but it helps.

I merely focus on really feeling the related emotion deep inside my body in the moment, without discharging it, for example, with loud yelling. If that seems too difficult, it can help to express my feelings outwardly later on, in a safe environment.

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I have learned that whenever I feel any emotion strongly, it probably means that I have an unresolved emotional experience that I am projecting on the present situation. Even if I can’t recall a past, related event, I just try not to resist the current emotion, nor use something to numb my experience, such as food or sleep.

I try not to tell myself that I have matured beyond such childish feelings. I especially notice if I am blaming someone else for my current state.

Note that the unresolved emotion can originate from an experience at a very early age of which I have no clear memories. Perhaps I did not get fed soon enough as an infant, or got fed on a schedule that did not match my needs.

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My spiritual teachings have much more to say about all this, as the seminary to become a teacher takes well over ten years. If you have an interest in this path, you can find a reference in my online abstract for this conference.

In conclusion, to become self-realized, or to connect to my true self, in the waking state, I can practice by connecting to the dreamer in my sleeping state. When I allow, and then surrender to, ‘so called’ negative states, I may first experience what seems like pain or emptiness.

However, I soon become open to “so called” positive states, or aspects of essence. I have discovered that my truly lucid self, or realized self, only experiences such positive states. I definitely love living in this way in waking or sleeping dreams, which I call the most lucid of all!

Now, I’d like to demonstrate this surrendering process by describing a dream that I plan to present at Tuesday night’s dream ball.

“I dreamed myself as a wave, and you as a wave as well. We seemed separate with this space between us. Suddenly, we became lucid and let ourselves fall into this hole. We surrendered into emptiness, and as water filled the hole, only a calm sea remained as our true self.”

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Thank you.

Questions?

Lucidity and Self-Realization

through Emotional Surrender

by

Beverly (Kedzierski Heart) D’Urso, Ph.D.

Proposal for the 2012 Association for the Study of Dreaming Conference,  Berkeley, CA, June 2012

Copyright 2011

Summary

When we fail to internally experience our emotions completely, dramas involving similar emotions appear in our life and in our dreams. I will give personal examples of dealing with such recurring emotional dramas, breakdown the steps involved, and compare my lucidity work to a contemporary psycho-spiritual teaching of self-realization.

Abstract

When we fail to truly experience a strong emotion in our bodies completely, life seems to give us more opportunities to do so in both our waking life and in our sleeping dreams. We experience new dramas or dreams, often with different characters and environments, but similar emotions. If we pay attention, we can notice patterns of such recurring emotional dramas or dreams.

As a child, I learned to become aware of such patterns in the form of recurring dream nightmares. When I found myself in a similar dream drama, I recognized it as part of the pattern. I fully faced my fear, my dream nightmares ceased, and I became ‘lucid’ in a dream for the first time. As my dream-self expanded into the dreamer, I gained powerful abilities and positive qualities, such as will, joy, and peace. I now understand that my recurring nightmare evolved from an accident I had in the waking state at eighteen months old. At that time, I could not deal with the strong emotions that arose during the drama of the accident.

As an adult, I experience lucidity in my waking life, as well as in my sleeping dreams. I call this ‘lucid living.’ Currently, I am studying a psycho-spiritual teaching that describes a similar process called ‘the theory of holes’. This ‘theory of holes’ explains how earlier in life, when we could not completely experience an emotion, we would develop a related psychological ‘hole.’ We try to fill the hole with external obsessions, such as taking drugs, overeating, or having superficial relationships. We don’t allow room for ‘aspects of our true essence,’ such as love, strength, or joy. We get many chances to face up to the emotion in new recurring dramas in our waking life. When we finally do so, and completely experience our empty hole, aspects of essence finally arise to fill it. I will show how we can use this process in our sleeping dreams as well.

As an analogy, imagine our ‘Creator,’ which I call the ‘Dreamer of life,’ as the sea and people as the waves. During lucidity, a wave expands DOWN into the sea knowing unlimited possibilities and self-realization. In the ‘theory of holes,’ the deep water of the sea, our ‘true nature,’ can represent aspects of essence. The waves represent people with holes. When we fully experience our emotions and face our empty holes, the deep-sea water rises UP to fill them. The waves finally realize themselves as the sea. When the water overfills the holes of all the people in the world, or we all become lucid, only a peaceful sea will exist as the potential of God.

All audiences can relate to this presentation, which should increase self-awareness and emotional growth.

REFERENCES:

‘Emotions in Dreams Lead to Self-Realization,’D’Urso, Beverly (Kedzierski Heart), Workshop Presented at
The Association for the Study of Dreaming: PsiberDreaming Conference, September, 2010.

http://durso.org/beverly/emotions_in_dreams/emotions_in_dreams.html

‘Essence With the Elixir of Enlightenment: The Diamond Approach to Inner Realization,’ Almaas, A.H., Weiser Books, York Beach, Maine, March 1, 1998.

http://ahalmaas.com/


Tuesday, November 9, 2010 Categorized under Emotions

Emotions in Dreams Lead to Self Realization

Picture of All Emotions

Emotions in Dreams Lead to Self Realization

by Beverly (Kedzierski Heart) D’Urso, Ph.D.
Copyright  © 2010 Beverly D’Urso
Workshop Presented at
The 2010 Association for the Study of Dreaming  PsiberDreaming Conference
http://www.durso.org/beverly/
http://www.wedreamnow.info

My work in ‘lucid dreaming’ led me to conscious ‘lucid living.’ You could call this self expansion, or ‘Knowing the Self’ [1]. I now see how my emotional, non-lucid dreams assisted this process by helping to open both my mind and my body. As a child, I felt willing to totally experience great fear in what I call my first lucid dream. However, in my waking state and in my non-lucid dreams, I often could not fully experience simple upsetting emotions without any resistance, outward expression of blame, or inner guilt. I did not even have awareness of any resistance or judgment.

I have created a workshop where you can play with experiencing your emotions in the waking state, the dreaming state, and particularly the state of awakening. Together, we can discover another way to benefit from our dreams.

At this point, in both my waking state and in all my dreams, I aspire to fully experiencing my emotions instead of projecting them outwards or stuffing them inside. I don’t need to avoid them in order to appear more ‘mature’ or less ‘crazy.’ Dissolving or discharging them by experiencing them fully eventually leads me to a more peaceful and centered place [2].

I don’t think I really ‘processed’ my feelings during past painful life incidents, especially during childhood. Interestingly, I am spontaneously having non-lucid dreams where I experience an uncomfortable incident over again. These dreams give me a chance in the dream, or just as I wake up, to fully feel my emotion without resistance or judgment. I notice how the emotion affects my body, my breathing, and my thoughts, and likewise, how these three affect my experience of the emotion. I believe that this process has removed many barriers to my experiencing a more whole and loving self.

Notice that the above process merely takes ‘awareness.’ In this workshop, I will also ask you to attempt to induce dreams and modify dream conditions if you become lucid. However, you do not need to do so to participate. Even if you don’t admit to having emotions or dreams, or you see emotions as ‘childish,’ play along and use your imagination. You may get enlightened.

Do the following exercises and report what happened. You can choose or use any emotions. If you don’t want to deal with uncomfortable emotions, you can choose feelings, such as joy or compassion. Keep in mind that a joyful experience can lead to self expansion, but you may see more amazing results by facing up to a feeling that you normally resist.

During the day:

Remain aware of any uncomfortable or frustrating feelings, or joyful ones, if you choose. When possible, stop what you are doing. Really feel the emotion that comes up for you. Immediately scan your body and breath. Notice your thoughts and your environment, including other people.

Argue PictureTo start, you can label the emotion.For example, say to yourself, “I really feel hurt.” Do not try to focus on any thoughts such as, “He did not act fairly.” Aim at not replaying the ‘story’ of what happened or expanding the emotion. Your emotions may seem out of proportion because another person may have triggered a past emotion that never got discharged. See an example of this in Appendix A.

Next, relax and move any stressed muscles. Slow down, lengthen, or quicken your breathing. Do your feelings change? At the end of the day, review what happened and post your experiences on this thread.

At bedtime:

If you so desire, do what you can to intend or incubate a dream with emotion.You can even choose to dream of a past incident when you did not fully experience an emotion, such as a feeling that might arise at the end of a relationship.

Broken HeartIntend to pay close attention in your dream to how you are experiencing your feelings and noticing your body, breath, thoughts, and environment, as you did in your waking state. The waking state exercises should help you remember to do this. Experience and notice all of these NOW, and remind yourself to do so as soon as you begin to wake up.

During the dream:

For lucid dreamers: if your intention does not manifest at the start of your dream, you can call forth the people from the incident, or go to the place where the emotional experience occurred. Replay the scene as much as possible. Rather than tell yourself, “I am merely dreaming,” really delve into any feelings, such as fear, anger, hurt, or joy. You do not need to resist the feelings, project blame, or take on guilt. However, do not resist any resistance or judgment. Merely stay aware of them. Lucid dreamers can also start breathing differently, stretching, or moving around. See the example lucid dream in Appendix B.

When you awaken:

Most importantly, for all dreamers: as you awaken, look for and stay with any emotion you just had or are still experiencing. You can do this many times during the night, or just before you get out of bed. Even if you don’t remember any dreams or feel any emotions, stay with your experience and pay attention to your thoughts, body, breath, and environment.

If you do remember a dream, do not focus on the ‘story,’ but pay attention to the feelings you had or still have. If it happens naturally, let out any tears or grunts. However, do not amplify the feeling, especially by thinking of the details of the dream, such as what you or another person did or said. Determine or distinguish the feeling. Do you feel hurt, frustrated, sad, or peaceful?

Picture of All Emotions

What do you notice or feel in your body? Do you sense anything particular in any part of your body, such as tenderness in your heart area or tension in your head? Notice your arms and legs, and then move or stretch them. Slow down, lengthen, or quicken your breath.

Did moving your body or changing your breath change your experience? If convenient, record what happened right away. Post your experience on this thread as soon as possible.

I intend to respond to each post without analyzing or judging you, but by merely sharing my observations. I will do so throughout the conference, so you can participate any time, as often as you like. I suggest that you start NOW.

APPENDIX A: Waking State Experience with Hurt Feelings

While creating this workshop, I got a phone call from a close, long-term friend. She told me that she could no longer associate with me because she feels that I act rudely by not politely eating whatever I get served. She also said that she could not handle the way I talk about my eating habits. (I gave up eating meat a year ago, and I eat more vegetables.)

Picture of Woman Crying

As I heard her ending our relationship, I immediately felt extremely sad and began to cry. She sounded harsh and uncaring. My throat tightened up. While sobbing, I told her that I heard her, and felt glad that she was finally telling me how she felt. Between gulps of air, I said it made sense not to give unsolicited information about my eating habits. I also said that I cared about her and respected her. However, I did not hold back my hurt feelings. I told her that I did not blame her for my feelings. I explained that I have been practicing to feel my emotions deeply.

I did not feel guilty or ‘childish,’ and I aimed at not defending myself. I saw it as important for her to experience her own feelings. I did, however, ask her if she wanted to hear a few words about my point of view, a misinterpretation, concerning a situation that she had described.

I noticed that I was sitting in a crouched position, so I moved to another room and stretched out. I took some slow, deep breaths, and noticed a slight tremor throughout my body. I moved my legs back and forth.

After the call, I let myself continue to cry, and felt that I had fallen into an abyss. I remembered that I felt a similar way when my parents had to leave me overnight in a hospital at the age of eighteen months. The sobbing and choking-up felt familiar. I imagined that my friend’s feelings also related to her own past experiences.

I looked around, and saw that I was lying among boxes of junk that I had not yet cleaned up. After a while, I felt a sense of relief, openness, and energy.

APPENDIX B: Dream State Experience with Joyful Feelings

While creating this workshop, I had the following dream:

I am interacting with my son and notice that his height exactly matches mine. Because he has surpassed my height by about six inches in my ‘waking’ state, I realize I am dreaming. I ask him if he can lower his height and become about two or three years Picture of WomanMovingold.He does this, and we begin to laugh and play as we often did some twelve or thirteen years ago. I feel full of joy and excitement. We dance around the room, which appears large and empty, swinging our arms and legs all around. My breath feels full and open. I have tons of energy.

http://www.durso.org/beverly/
http://www.wedreamnow.info

REFERENCES

[1] “Levels of Consciousness and Lucidity while Dreaming or Awake.” Presentation for the 2009 International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD) PsiberDreaming Conference (PDC2009). http://wedreamnow.info/?p=124

[2] Almaas, A.H. (2008). The Unfolding Now: Realizing Your True Nature through the Practice of Presence. Boston, MA: Shambhala. http://ahalmaas.com/Books/unfolding_now.html

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 Categorized under Emotions

BOOK PROPOSAL – We are Dreaming NOW: From Lucid Dreaming to Conscious Lucid Living

Dream BookBook in Proposal

We are Dreaming NOW: From Lucid Dreaming to Conscious Lucid Living;
Includes how I made my dreams of career and family come true!
by Beverly (Kedzierski Heart) D’Urso Copyright 2003


PITCH

My story begins with an astonishing childhood gift of facing up to the witches in my nightmares,  which led me to be chosen for years of Lucid Dreaming research at the Stanford Sleep Laboratory. In lucid dreams, we “know we are dreaming while we dream.” We can control them to solve problems or carry out wild and crazy goals. After appearing in major magazines and television specials, I eventually concluded that, “Life is but a Dream,” and I used my practical philosophy, Lucid Living, which I have taught and presented for decades, to: obtain my Ph.D., including over 50 publications, advance my prosperous high-tech career in Artificial Intelligence, marry my perfect mate, bear a child in spite of overwhelming odds against it, and heal from profound grief. People relate the ideas in my book, We are Dreaming, NOW, to the work of best-selling, contemporary authors, as well ancient traditions. However, anyone can enjoy my personal, lifelong, and inspirational anecdotes, regardless of their interest in dreams. So remember, We are Dreaming, NOW!  Let go of fear, experience everything as one, know that anything is possible, and make your own dreams come true.

BIOGRAPHY

As combination mystic and scientist, I have been called the world’s most prolific “lucid dreamer.”  I developed the ability to “know I am dreaming while I dream” when I faced up to terrifying witches in my childhood dream, some forty-three years ago. In my twenties, the renown pioneer of Lucid Dreaming, Dr. Stephen Laberge, chose me as his primary subject for decades of research at the Stanford Sleep Laboratory. Numerous major magazines, such as LIFE, Smithsonian, OMNI, and Parade, television specials, books, and radio talk shows have featured my life and my dreams. Using my practical philosophy called lucid living, with a related web site, I have taught my own workshops since 1991, and have presented at conferences for decades, where authors constantly tell me “You HAVE to write a book,” and I say, “Are you dreaming now?” Working with Stanford University Professors, I completed my  Masters degree in 1980, involving Cognitive Psychology, and my Ph.D. in 1983, focussing on Artificial Intelligence. Prior to being a researcher, consultant, and a college professor, I created several startup companies, and over fifty publications, on my computer work and on my dream work. To allow for the greatest flexibility, I currently combine my writing and presenting with being a full-time wife and mother, and I contribute the wonderful balance of work and family in my life to lucid living!

SUMMARY

Would you face up to terrifying witches that were about to devour you?  I did, in a childhood dream, and years later the renown pioneer of Lucid Dreaming, Dr. Stephen Laberge, chose me as his primary subject for decades of research of at the Stanford Sleep Laboratory. In lucid dreams, we “know we are dreaming while we dream.” We can control them to solve problems, carry out goals, or just plain have fun!  Many people have experienced this “higher state of consciousness” without knowing the term. If you have ever seen someone whom you know has died, or flew over your house like a bird, and said, “This can’t be happening, I must be dreaming,” then you have had a lucid dream. If you were not lucid, you would probably act as if you were really awake, possibly justifying the situation.

I have taught people to have lucid dreams by using my own techniques, as well as using electronic devices which I helped develop through LaBerge’s work. Featured in numerous major magazines, such as LIFE, Smithsonian, OMNI, and Parade, television specials, books, and radio talk shows, people have called me the world’s most prolific lucid dreamer.

One time, I saw myself on a national television commercial, wearing a bathrobe, with electrodes all over my face, singing, “Row, Row, Row Your Boat…” This seemed bizarre, but not as astonishing as when I started to have precognitive dreams, which are dreams whose action also occurs later in the waking state. I eventually concluded that, “Life is but a Dream,”  and I created, as well as taught, what I call: Lucid Living.

I have my own web site and have presented at conferences for decades, where people relate my newest ideas to eastern religions and mystical traditions, including  A Course In Miracles, multimillion copy authors such as, Dyer, Chopra, Ruiz, and Roberts (SETH), and even modern movies similar to: The Matrix.  In my dreams, I have presented before billions of people, but when I am not lucid, I often freeze and can’t think of what to say. When I am very lucid, anyone around already knows what I have to say, and I merely surrender to my heart’s content.

In my proposed book, We Are Dreaming NOW,  I tell how Lucid Living helped me obtain my Ph.D. in Computer Science, with over 50 publications, more than half on my dream work, advance my prosperous high-tech career in Artificial Intelligence, marry my perfect mate, bear a child in spite of overwhelming odds against it, and heal from profound grief. The few existing lucid dreaming books that apply to the waking state are very philosophical or are in the complex voice of a psychologist. From my layperson’s perspective, anyone can relate to my personal, lifelong stories and insightful anecdotes, ranging from sex to death, regardless of their interest in dreams. So remember, “We Are Dreaming NOW!”  Let go of fear, experience everything as one, know that anything is possible, and make your own dreams come true.

AUDIENCE

We are Dreaming NOW takes us beyond lucid dreaming, but it is not necessary to be a lucid dreamer, or even have heard of it, to get value from We are Dreaming NOW.  However, We are Dreaming NOW will have instant appeal for people interested in dreams and lucid dreaming because they will discover new, practical uses of dreams and will see how lucid dreaming can be applied to our waking lives. They will also find out about the intriguing work done in sleep laboratories, of which there are over 70 listed on the American Sleep Association web site.

People interested in personal growth, inspiration, and the metaphysical will want to read:  We are Dreaming NOW, even if they do not care about dreams. The following five, immensely popular, books have sold multimillions of copies and include the same concepts that We are Dreaming NOW  goes into in depth.  The readers of these books will also enjoy  We are Dreaming NOW.

The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz (Amber-Allen Publishing,  November 1997)  The first words of Chapter One state, “What you are seeing and hearing right now is nothing but a dream. You are dreaming right now in this moment. You are dreaming with the brain awake.” Ruiz, therefore, agrees with the premise of Lucid Living. His book has sold 2.7 million copies in the U.S., and has been on The New York Times best seller list for over three years.

You’ll See It When You Believe It: The Way to Your Personal Transformation by Wayne W. Dyer (Quill (HarperCollins), September 2001, Copyright 1989, William Morrow and Company, Inc.) In one part of Chapter Two, Dr. Dyer encourages us to be a “waking dreamer… to understand that the rules that seem to apply only to your dreaming body can be applicable to your waking body as well.” He, therefore, also encourages Lucid Living.

The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, October 2003,  Crown Publishers, Inc.,  Random House, Inc.) In the last chapter of his book, Dr. Chopra describes, “The seventh and last stage of consciousness, the ultimate goal, is called unity consciousness.” He states, “When this happens, you see that the whole world is a projection of your own self.” This is the essence Lucid Living at the highest level.

The Nature of Personal Reality: Specific, Practical Techniques for Solving Everyday Problems and Enriching the Life You Know (A Seth Book) by Jane Roberts  (Amber-Allen Publishing, June 1994, Copyright 1974, Bantam Books,  Prentice Hall, Inc.) The first lines from the preface of this pivotal book say that, “Experience is the product of the mind, the spirit, conscious thoughts and feelings, and unconscious thoughts and feelings. These together form the reality that you know.” From the introduction, “Seth’s main idea is that we create our personal reality thorough our conscious beliefs…” This is corresponds to why I say: We are Dreaming NOW. People who value the SETH work will see evidence of his theories in We are Dreaming NOW. The Nature of Personal Reality has sold over 7 million copies worldwide and has been around for 30 years.

A Course In Miracles (Viking Press, March 1996, Copyright 1975,  Foundation for Inner Peace) In the Text: Chapter 18: Passing of the dream Section:  Basis of the Dream: “All your time is spent in dreaming. Your sleeping and waking dreams have different forms, that is all. Their context is the same.” Lucid Living relates to what the Course calls the “Happy Dream”. We are Dreaming NOW gives people a down-to-earth story about how A Course in Miracles can be used.

Also, people interested in Carlos Castaneda, Toltec Dreaming, Tibetan Dream Yoga, the philosophy of Non Dualism, the Senoi, Native Americans, Eastern Religions, and other Ancient Traditions will want to hear about Lucid Living.
Besides the people interested in dreams and the metaphysical, women pursuing advanced degrees and/or careers plus family, or baby boomers who are losing parents, will relate to the stories in We are Dreaming NOW.

SPECIAL MARKETING AND PROMOTION OPPORTUNITIES

I have helped people have lucid dreams and understand Lucid Living in workshops and groups since 1991, and I have over 50 publications, more than half on my dream work. Therefore, I can actively promote my book: We are Dreaming NOW.  I have my own web site and have presented at the primary dream organization, the Association for the Study of Dreams (ASD) conferences since 1985.  ASD serves its over 325 members (and hundreds more who attend the conferences) who might be scientists, psychologists, artists, writers, or people who merely pay attention to their dreams. Major magazines, such as LIFE, Smithsonian, OMNI, and Parade, television specials, books, and radio talk shows, have already taken an interest in my work.

Dream groups that exist in most cities in the country and around the world would be interested in We are Dreaming NOW.  In fact, some whole cultures live their lives based on their dreams. Every year, there are conferences on dreaming, not including conferences on sleep in general. Dozens of magazines and journals focus on dreaming, and there are over 70 sleep laboratories listed on the American Sleep Association web site.

Many dream web sites exist as well, with over 25 web sites just on lucid dreaming. Lucid Dreaming alone has many of its own publications as well including: The Lucid Dream Exchange, which has published an early version of We are Dreaming NOW.

Dr. Stephen LaBerge, whom I have worked with, heads the Lucidity Institute with hundreds of members around the world. Anyone interested in his books, products, including  his electronic dream induction devices, and seminars would want to read  We are Dreaming NOW.

Don Miguel Ruiz has a very active web site for his Toltec Tradition, has spawned over 145 groups around the country, including one also called “Lucid Living,” and has several events each month. People involved in his Toltec Dreaming would want to read  We are Dreaming NOW.

Both Dr. Dyer and Dr. Chopra have active web sites and give many presentations every month. The Chopra center would be a good place to sell copies of We are Dreaming NOW.

There are dozens of SETH web sites, SETH groups in most major cities, yearly SETH conferences, online and other SETH magazines, and even a doctoral degree program on the SETH Teachings. There are Course in Miracles study groups in most major cities. totaling over 2000, as well as yearly Course in Miracles conferences.  It has been translated into over 20 languages and has hundreds of web sites. Both A Course in Miracles and SETH enthusiasts would all be targets for selling  We are Dreaming NOW.

Women’s magazines, such as First for Women, who did an article on my life in their June 24, 1996 issue, could promote my book.  The New Age Journal also did an article on my work in November 1985 and could have a source of readers. Organizations that support people in grief, such as KARA in Palo Alto, CA could provide copies of We are Dreaming NOW, as well.

SELECTED MEDIA COVERAGE (see Publications)

Presentation at the International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD)  PsiberDreaming Conference, September 2004.
A Documentary by Richard Hilton, September 2004.
Panel at the Association for the Study of Dreams (ASD)   Conference 2004.
<>Symposium at the ASD  Conference 2004.
Book in Progress, 2003.

The Lucid Dream Exchange Magazine, 2003 and 2004.
Paper at the ASD Conference, 2003 (Available as an audio tape).
Online PsiberDreaming Conference, 2003.
Panel at the ASD conference, 2001.
Preschool Family Newsletter, January, 2000.
Bay Area Dream Workers (BADG) Presentation, 1998.
The Dreamer and the Dreamtribe,  Documentary, 1997.
Workshop at the ASD Conference, 1997. (Available as an audio tape.)
First for Women Magazine, June 24, 1996.
Lucid Dreaming, NBC’s Next Step, 1996.
ABC TV:  WLS Chicago 10 O’Clock News, May 11, 1995.
Workshop aboard a sailboat in the Bahamas, 1992.
Paper ASD Conference, June, 1992.
LIFE Magazine, October, 1986.
Panel at the Lucid Dreaming Symposium (ASD), 1986.
Lucidity Letter Journal, December, 1985.
New Age Journal, November 1985.
Parade Magazine, February, 1984.
Poster Session at Asilomar Psychophysiology Conference (Psychophysiology Journal Paper), 1983.
Smithsonian Magazine, August, 1982
Omni Magazine, March, 1982 .
Discover the World of Science, Television Special, 1982.
Two on the Town: Television Show, 1982.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 Categorized under Basic, Emotions, Lucid Dreaming

A Mom/Child Dialog on ‘Lucid Dreaming’

“A Mom/Child Dialog on ‘Lucid Dreaming”
by
D’Urso, Beverly (Kedzierski  Heart,)
Article in the Preschool Family Newsletter, Palo Alto, CA., January, 2000.

Child: Mom? What happens when we sleep?

Mom: Often, we dream.

Child: What is dreaming?

Mom: When we dream, we make up a world that seems real while we are in it. When we wake up, we realize that this world existed only in our mind.

Child: Yes, I remember that last night I dreamed I was flying over some beautiful mountains!

Mom: In the dream, did you realize that you don’t normally fly? For example, did you say, “If I am flying, then this is a dream!”

Child: Gee, I never thought of that.

Mom: You never see monsters in your normal day either. So, next time you see one, why not tell yourself “this must be a dream”?

Child: If I knew I was dreaming, I wouldn’t have to be afraid. I could zap the monster with magic forces!

Mom: Yes. Also, if you were not sure that you were dreaming you could just leave. But, if you knew for sure you were dreaming, you could look the monster in the eye and say, “I am not afraid because this a dream.” You could ask the ‘monster’, “What do you want?”

Child: What can I do if I don’t usually realize that I am dreaming, while I’m dreaming? Can I learn to do this?

Mom: Yes, We call this “lucid dreaming.” You could practice lucid dreaming by asking yourself the question over and over during the day or night, “Am I dreaming now?”. If you get into this habit of asking, you will probably ask the question when you are dreaming. If you can look for ‘clues’ that you are dreaming, you will most likely find some. For example, a clue might be: ‘discovering a real elephant in your bathtub!’ If you see something strange like that, you could then do a ‘test’ to make sure you are in a dream. Often, I try to float off the ground and when I can float, then I know that I am dreaming. When I know for sure that I am dreaming, I can do anything I want. I might ‘fly like a bird to the moon!’ Often, I look for people I never see anymore, like my friend who died. I talk to them in my dreams and it can feel very real.

Child: What if I got so excited knowing that I was dreaming, that I woke up immediately?

Mom: Well, you could remember to stay calm and remain very still in the dream, as soon as you knew you were dreaming. You could stare at something near to you for awhile. That works for me sometimes. Let me ask you something. Do you believe that you are dreaming right now?

Child: What do you mean?

Mom: Well, most people don’t usually think they are dreaming, even in their ‘regular nighttime, sleeping dreams.’ Their dreams probably seem very real while they are happening, or the dreams are weird, but not viewed as ‘dreams.’ In other words, we often dream of people and places we recognize. Even when we dream of strange things, we tend to justify them. Usually, only after we wake up, do we realize that we should have known our experience was only a dream. Remember, when we recognize that we are dreaming while we are still dreaming, we call this ‘lucid dreaming.’

Child: I have done that. Is it special? Does everyone do it?

Mom: Lucid dreaming means merely that we are ‘aware’ that we are in a dream. The dream can be weird, normal, clear or fuzzy. We don’t have to study the meaning of the dream to be lucid. We just need to realize that it is a dream before we wake up. Some people dream and never remember that they dreamed. Most people dream and remember that they dreamed only after they wake up. If they don’t tell someone the dream or write it down right away, they forget it. People who remember the dream even earlier, that is, before they come out of the dream, are called ‘lucid dreamers’. Not everyone has ‘lucid dreams’, and usually not that often. However, lucid dreamers can have lots of fun with their dreams. What kind of things can you think of to do if you knew you were completely safe in a dream and could make anything happen?

Child: Wow, let me think about that!

Mom: I will tell you one more thing for now. I believe that life itself is a dream, but that we are not always lucid enough to realize it. I believe that ‘one mind’ is dreaming us all, just as when we go to sleep, our ‘mind’ dreams of all kinds of people and places. In ‘nighttime, sleeping dreams’, after we wake up, we usually believe that all of the people and places we dreamed of were in our ‘mind.’ If we become, ‘lucid in life’, we don’t have to wait to ‘wake up’ to discover that life is a dream. We realize that everyone we know, including our own bodies, and everything we see is part of one ‘dreaming mind’. We experience our lives as being created by the imagination of this ‘one mind’, of which we are part. Thereby, we might also realize, that ‘anything is possible’ in our lives! When we feel the connection to this ‘one mind’, we no longer live in fear. We know that our bodies are not all that we are.

There are many more ideas on ‘lucid dreaming’ and ‘lucid living’. Would you like to know more?

Child: I sure would.

Mom: Ok. You can contact Beverly D’Urso, beverly@durso.org

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 Categorized under Emotions, Healing, Lucid Dreaming

Facing the Witches

Beverly’s Autobiography Class Paper

Beverly Heart
AutoB 60B
Ditto
February 9, 1992
Facing the Witches

When I was five or six years old,  gruesome witches lived in the back of my dark and scary closet.  I’d be quietly playing, and without notice, they would sneak out and come after me.  I’d scream and run through the house, making it to the back porch, and sometimes down the back stairs, but never any further.  I’d fall on the cement at the bottom of the stairs, spread eagle on my back, and just as they were about to devour me,  I’d wake up.  In an icy sweat, breathing fast, I’d be terrified of going to sleep again.  For a few weeks, the witches would leave me alone, but, when I least expected it, they’d be back.  After years of this same recurring dream, I’d find myself pleading, as I lay on the cement with the witches hovering over me, “Please, spare me tonight.  You can have me in tomorrow’s night’s dream!”  At that point, they’d stop their attack and I’d wake up.  However, the dream was still very upsetting, and I always hated going to sleep, especially if I ate anything close to bedtime.  My uncle once told me that my dreams were scary because I ate my Mom’s donuts late at night!

One hot, sticky summer night, when I was seven, I was especially afraid of going to sleep. I hadn’t been able to resist having one of my mom’s fresh, warm donuts, and I was sure the witches would appear in my dreams that night.  My mom was sleeping on the living room couch, which she often did when it was so hot.  The front door could be opened to create a breeze. That was before the days of air conditioning.   So, still being awake about 2am, I grabbed an old, dark pink, american indian blanket and put it on the floor next to the couch to be close to my mom, and I fell asleep.  Soon, I found myself back in my bedroom and noticed the closet door creaking open.  I knew at once it was them, and I began to run for my life.  I barely made it through the kitchen.  As I raced across the porch and down the stairs, I tripped as usual and immediately those horrifying witches caught up to me. The instant before I started to plead with them, the thought flashed through my mind, “If I ask them to take me in tomorrow night’s dream, then this  must be a dream!”  Instantly, my fear dissolved.  I looked the witches straight in the eye and said, “What do you want?”  They gave me a disgusting look, but I knew I was safe in a dream, and I continued, “Take me now.  Let’s get this over with!”  I watched with amazement, as they quickly disappeared into the night.  I woke up feeling elated.  I knew they were gone.  I never dreamed about witches again.

My dreams were really fun after that night.  Remembering the feeling of facing the witches, I learned to recognize when I was asleep and dreaming.  Safe in the dream, I would do things I’d never do when awake!  Being a very obedient student during the daytime, I would dream of being in class jumping wildly and carefree all over the tops of the school desks.  Whatever I desired, was possible.  Whatever I thought, would occur.  I made up ways to wake myself up by staring at street lights whenever I wanted to end a dream. Oftentimes, I would lay in bed imagining myself doing backward summersaults and float right into my dream without ever losing consciousness.  I even learned to fly in my dreams, first, by flapping my arms like the wings of a bird, and later, by extending my arms like superman and just gliding threw the air.  I stopped flying when I devised a way to merely turn around and just “be” wherever I desired:  a beach, Chicago, or even another planet!   However, I missed the sensation of flying, and soon went back to gliding effortlessly through the air, but now an invisible force pulls me to unknown, and sometimes undescribable, destinations.

I’ve had many other adventures in my dreams.  Sometimes, I’d visit and talk with my friend, Denise, who died when I was eighteen.  Once, I went back in time to the year 1974 and met myself at the age of twenty-one to tell my younger self that “everything is fine.”  I solved my writer’s block so I could finish my PhD and even let myself die to see what would happen. I’ve walked on the moon, merged with the sun, and have been a star in outer space.

It’s been 30 years since that night I first discovered lucid dreaming. I didn’t know it was called that until 1980, when I met and began working with a scientist at Stanford on dream research.  My dreams have since been featured in many books, major magazines, and television specials. Recently, I changed my career from working with computers to teaching lucid dream groups and workshops.  I’ve also used my lucid dream experiences while asleep, to view life as a dream and become lucid while awake.  When I’m really lucid, I have no fears and no unmet desires.  I just “am.”  I realize that I am the dreamer and everyone and everything is a part of my mind, including those mysterious,  and well disguised witches.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 Categorized under Emotions, Healing

The Representation of Death in My Dreams

The Representation of Death in My Dreams

Dream ImageBeverly I. Kedzierski
Carnegie Group
Pittsburgh, PA

In my waking life, I am very involved in my career as a Computer Scientist. I also have been doing research in lucid dreaming for the past 5 years at the Stanford University Sleep Laboratory, with Steve LaBerge. I’ve had lucid dreams long before I knew the name for them, and I continue to have them often. The first one that I remember occurred when I was 7 years old. It is described, along with other lucid dreams of mine, in the November 1985 issue of New Age magazine. Here I will briefly, discuss one aspect of my experiences, namely, death in dreams.

I have dreamt about people that I’ve known that have died. For instance, I’ve had many dreams about a very close friend of mine, Denise, who died from a sudden automobile accident when I was 19 years old. In describing my dreams about Denise, I will refer to the dream character that represents Denise to me as “her”, and I will refer to the dream character that represents myself as “me”.

In my non-lucid dreams about Denise, I would often run into her in some typical scene where we would interact with each other. Sometimes, I would suddenly remember that she had died and scare myself awake. Using my lucid dreaming skills, I learned to let the recognition of her having died make me realize that I was dreaming. In these cases, I would try to remain silently in the dream with her, who I perceived to be the actual Denise who had died. These dreams were usually uncomfortable experiences.

After my involvement with lucid dreaming research, I recognized that I was not completely lucid in these dreams because I did not realize that I was just seeing a dream characterization of Denise.  Once I saw her in this way, I was much more comfortable, and was able to remain in a dream and talk to her about our activities. Listening to her was more difficult, however, and I would often slip back into partial lucidity and feel strange listening to someone who I viewed as being dead. I was eventually able to remain totally lucid and talk to her about Denise’s death.

In a very special dream, I asked her if she knew that she had died. She told me that she knew this now, but that there was a period of time when she didn’t. Her realization was gradual. At first she thought that she as still alive, but she eventually understood. Her response might have to do with the tact that I knew that Denise had been in a coma for quite awhile prior to her death. As the dream continued, I asked her about what she was experiencing now and we resolved some issues that had been unresolved at the time of her death. Towards the end of the dream, someone called out, “Senator Red”.

My dreams of Denise helped me deal with dreaming about other people who have died. I learned how to dream about people by deciding ahead of time that I wanted to dream about them and then imagining meeting them while in a lucid dream. If I run across someone in a non-lucid dream that I know has died, the situation becomes a clue for lucidity and the dream usually becomes very enlightening.

Lucidity Letter 4(2), December, 1985, p. 28.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010 Categorized under Emotions, Ethics, Healing, Lucid Dreaming, Lucid Living, Precognition, Spirituality

Welcome

This begins my new website!